I will never forget my first kiss.  One of the most awkward experiences of my life.  And if you’ve kissed someone, you can agree.  If you haven’t then don’t be discouraged.  It’s just a little hurdle everyone has to get over.  I wrote this entry because I wanted to show you that even for me the first kiss was awkward and even I had to jump over the hurdle.

I was in 9th grade of High School.  I was dating, Sheila (a cute Filipino chick) for about 2 weeks.  For those two weeks, I kept shying out of the kiss.  She wanted me to initiate it (I knew this because when I would walk her home, we would wait on her corner for a good 10 minutes and she would stare at my lips).  I would always tell myself “today is the day” yet when we said goodbye, I would just go for the cheek.  Everyday was first kiss disaster for those two weeks.  During all of our conversations, I would have an internal dialogue would myself (”after she finishes this story, I am just going to pull her close and do it”).  What made it worse was how my friends would ask me “how was it?” and I would have to reply with “I didn’t do it yet.”

Looking back at it now, I know I psyched myself out.  I had read up on “The First Kiss” way too much back then.  It was a huge thing to me and I thought that if I didn’t get it right, I would lose my girlfriend and all her friends would laugh at me when they found out.  All the information I found on the internet said stuff like:

• The first kiss is important.  Keep your lips moist.  Carry chapstick.
• Stand up tall and make sure you’re not hunched over.
• Tilt your head a little and move in slowly.  Don’t move in all the way and force it on her, she will get turned off and dump you.

Bullshit.  All of that was bullshit.  The one thing that they should have said was how NATURALLY awkward the first kiss is.  It’s an awkwardness that you have to fight through.

Anyway, Sheila would take the bus to school every morning and it would stop about 4 blocks away from school.  I waited at the bus stop one morning and when she stepped off the bus we started making our way to school.  I didn’t say much on the walk there because I kept telling myself “you’re doing it now” and I didn’t want to distract myself from the goal.  Two blocks from school, I stopped at the corner with her hand in mine.  I moved in close and looked at her lips to signal the kiss.  I said nothing.  She looked back at my lips and I knew it was my best chance.  I moved my face close to hers and she reciprocated.  It was a little awkward because I tilted my face one way and she tilted hers the same way so I had switch (definitely not like the movies).  But eventually our lips locked and it felt great. I think we both sighed a big sigh of relief on the inside because surprisingly, the first kiss went really well.

Naturally, after lip locking the first time, we both looked at each other and moved in for another one.  And ironically, this is when it got a lot more awkward.  Our noses collided.  I smiled.  She laughed.  And giggled.  And snorted (a testament as to how the girl anticipates the awkwardness just as much as the guy does).  After she gathered her breath, we kissed again and made our way to school.

Awkward Kiss

Okay so that was the first kiss.  But there was more.  It was on to the first REAL kiss.  You know what I mean.  Yeah, the french kiss.  The tongue wrestling.  The Making out.  The stuff foreplay is made of.

After about a 3 days of lip kissing, I felt it was time to step it up a notch.  The first french kiss was more awkward than the nose collision incident.  She didn’t know I wanted to tongue her so when I went in for the kiss, I opened my mouth a little too much and engulfed her lips.  She giggled (thankfully she didn’t snort again).  We went to kiss again, and this time she opened her mouth too and our teeth grazed each other.  Don’t ask, I STILL can’t fathom that situation but it makes me laugh always.  When we finally touched tongues, the french kiss became the only kiss (of course we would add the lip kiss in as dessert here and there).

There was a phase where we were trying to figure out each others kissing rhythms.  Each person is different and it takes time to adjust to how the other one kisses. For example, being the dirtball, I would generally I move my tongue in too and she would giggle or be surprised.  Or she would swirl her tongue around mine when I am moving away from the kiss.  Eventually, we learned each others nuances about the kissing became progressively better.

The moral of the story is, your first kiss WILL be awkward. Anticipate that.  The girl knows it will be awkward too and that’s what makes it easier.  It’s something you both will experience so why not experience it now and together for that matter.

And if you’ve never kissed a girl but you know she has (either because she’s been in a relationship, or your friend let you borrow her) it’s okay.  Go ahead and kiss her.  Let her lead and just follow along.  If she asks you ‘Have you ever kissed anyone?’ BE HONEST.  If you show her your honesty in that situation, she will find it endearing.  Trust me.

Besides, your first kiss does not say much.  Girls know that there is a rhythm to kissing and they know that it takes a little time to get to know someone’s rhythm.  They will give you the benefit of the doubt.

Now gather your nerves and jump over the hurdle.  You’ll love it.

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