Posted by Marlon Reed in I am nothing without my inner game; my attitude, my confidence, my perception of myself. If I didn’t have such a high perception of myself than women would not want to be with me. They would break through my armor and see that my inner game is unstable. No one wants to be with someone who is unstable.
My best friend picks up women just as well if not better than I do but he cannot hold a relationship. He has no inner game at all. Being that I am his best friend, I know how he really is. He has a lot of insecurities. He doesn’t find himself attractive and he has no faith in himself. Whenever he wants to start something, he doubts himself, so much so that he never begins. Just recently, he wanted to start playing the guitar. I told him I can teach him a couple of things but he kept insisting he was too old to learn now. He never picked it up.
It’s not surprise that he cannot hold a relationship. I tell him this. Women want someone who has faith in himself. They want to be inspired. If the man has no faith in himself and is afraid of trying anything new, she will see right through that.
I’ll tell you what you exactly what I told my friend. Identify your positive qualities.
This is beyond important and yes it takes a while. It took ME a while. But it was worth the patience and effort. If you were to ask me to sum up myself in a couple of words I would quickly say: I am funny, smart, attractive, creative, good at everything I do, I learn quickly, very goal oriented and I am modest (You can love yourself and not be cocky.)
How would YOU sum yourself up in a couple of words?
If you paused to think that’s okay. That’s why you’re reading this article. Keep that question in mind, it will help you in the proceeding sections.
Before I had the inner game I do now, I would always ask my girlfriends what they admired about me. They would run down a list, “funny, intelligent, attractive.” Those were the big 3 that all my girlfriends noted. I never bought any of it. I thought they were saying that because they were my girlfriends, they wouldn’t be mean. That belief is wrong. Here’s how I fixed my mindset. I told my best friend these same exact things.
Things you MUST do to fix your inner game:
1. Write a list of what YOU feel your best qualities are. Let it be as long as possible.
2. On a separate sheet write a list of what YOU feel your worst qualities are. Be honest with yourself.
3. Without showing them either sheet, ask your friends what they think your best & worst qualities are. Tell them to be brutally honest.
3. Compare what they told you to the lists you compiled. Did they tell you qualities about yourself you didn’t think of?
Review. Just think about the information you gathered.
4. Acknowledge the good qualities. Stand in front of the mirror and say “you’re funny,” or “you’re attractive.” Whichever qualities came up, say them back to yourself. Internalize them. Live them. Do this everyday for 5 minutes and you will begin to believe it. You have to view yourself bigger than you currently are (see image to the right) because the way you currently view yourself is wrong.
5. Acknowledge the bad qualities and ask yourself, “what should I do?” More likely than not your friends said you need to boost your confidence, in which case you should proceed to step 4 again. However, everything else that they said should be taken with a grain of salt. In other words, don’t put too much emphasis on what they say. Your primary goal is to work on your positive qualities and you will see whatever negative qualities you have will dissolve.
6. Work out. Get physical. Jog every once in a while. Play a sport. At the very least, do some push ups every other day. You will look good and feel good about yourself. I work out not only to maintain a great physique. I work out because it helps me boost my confidence. You will naturally want to work out more after you begin seeing results.
The inner game is important not only for the dating world, but it’s important to live a happy life. Life is all about perception and fixing your inner game will help you adjust your lens. You will view the world in a better light.
You might be interested in reading my related article: Tips to Boost Your Confidence.
Related posts